


Drink and the Devil

by AnonEhouse



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Cap-Ironman Bingo, Gen, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 14:12:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5873548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony gets Loki drunk after the Battle of New York, while Steve tries to decide what he thinks of Tony.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drink and the Devil

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

 

"Well, what do we do with him?" Tony asked Steve, looking at Loki sprawled among the rubble of his penthouse.

Steve was glad that Tony wasn't fighting him for authority. "We can't turn him over to the police. They wouldn't be able to hold him for a minute."

"SHIELD?" Natasha said, but hesitantly.

Clint raised his bow, sighting on Loki's face. "They couldn't hold him even before I wrecked the helicarrier."

Loki smirked and opened his mouth. Hulk growled, and Thor said, "Not another word, Loki. You shall not sway our minds with your silver tongue." He turned, glancing at Steve and then spoke to Tony. "Have you strong spirits? It takes much to lay an Asgardian low."

Tony brightened. "Hell yes, I have good booze. I've got some lethal stuff. Literally lethal if a human drank it straight."

"We don't actually want to kill him." Steve thought about it. "You don't mean bathtub gin, do you? Did they bring that back?"

Tony rolled his eyes. "No lavatory brewed products here, I swear."

"Everclear?" Clint asked. "Never killed me."

"Better than that. Spirytus Delikatesowy – 192 proof Polish vodka."

Loki scowled. "If it tastes terrible, I'm not drinking it."

"You'll drink it," Natasha said, "Or we'll find another way of knocking you out."

Hulk grinned and raised a fist. "Hulk smash," he said cheerfully.

Steve nodded, "That's an option." Thor looked unhappy, but he nodded. The way Natasha looked, Hulk would probably be a less painful option, Steve thought. And Clint... yeah, he wasn't going to ask Clint to be alone with Loki. Too much temptation.

"On the other hand, I find I have developed quite a thirst," Loki said chirpily.

Little shit, Steve thought. He'd thought Tony was a spoiled brat, but Loki redefined it.

"Don't worry, Rudolph," Tony said. "If I had time, I'd make Jungle juice, but that has to marinate over night." Tony went to the bar and began mixing. "We'll start you off mild with Long Island Ice Tea. Gin, vodka, tequila, rum and triple sec."

Thor said, apologetically, "I shall have to taste it first. Loki is, after all, my brother."

Tony took a swig of the drink. "Fine by me. Anyone else want some?"

"No one else is drinking," Steve said firmly. Tony gave him another eye roll and said, "Fine. Just the visiting god and devil."

It took a while, and several bottles of increasingly strangely named concoctions, but Loki finally collapsed into a snoring heap. 

"And that's an Aunt Roberta," Tony said. "One hundred percent alcohol with absolutely no mixers." He lifted the glass, noted that Loki had gone down for the count and said "waste not, want not". Steve raised his eyebrows at Hulk and mouthed, 'Hulk drink!" and pointed at Tony.

Hulk grunted, reached out and took the glass. He swallowed the contents in one gulp and smiled. Then he sat down with a room shaking thump and shrank back down into Banner.

Steve wanted nothing more than to lie down somewhere himself, but Stark wanted to go eat this 'shawarma' and hell, if Bucky had survived falling off the train, Steve would have given him any damn thing he wanted. 

Thor rolled Loki onto his back and laid his hammer on his chest. "He shall not stir from this spot, until I give him leave."

Steve wouldn't count on it holding him forever, but long enough for them to eat seemed reasonable.

 

The restaurant was a mess, furniture knocked over, shattered glass on the floor, assorted objects in broken pieces everywhere. "Maybe this isn't a good time?" Steve said.

"Yoo hoo," Stark called. "You open for business?"

Two people emerged from a back room. The woman put on an apron and said briskly, "Yes, sir." She glanced at the man, and he started righting chairs and tables. 

"God, I love New York," Tony said, flinging himself into the nearest chair. "C'mon Bruce, take a load off." 

Before Steve knew it, they were all sitting around a table, and Tony was ordering for all of them. Well, ordering... Tony just said, "Bring us whatever's good, and lots of it."

"Fries, if you have them," Bruce requested softly. Tony thumped him on the back cheerfully. Bruce grunted and then gave Steve an amused look.

Tony was really something, Steve thought. He just wasn't sure what. He ate a few bites, but he was too sore and tired to have much appetite. Instead he propped his chin on his elbow and dozed a little, listening to the others eat. No one spoke. Steve's thoughts were sluggish, and mainly circling around Tony. He was a puzzle. Steve would have to figure him out. They got off to a bad start, but maybe they'd have a happy ending.

**Author's Note:**

> A fill for the canon: MCU phase one square on my Bingo card.
> 
>  
> 
> Aunt Roberta   
> Considered by some to be the strongest cocktail in the world. Gin, vodka, absinthe, brandy and blackberry liquor are mixed together in equal parts.


End file.
